Sucks to be Me
by Kianang
Summary: Uruki tells us all why his life really sucks. This is the Uruki from the new FY manga being published, he's not an AU variation, but the rest of this could be in time. Very short.


Disclaimer: You think I own FY? You crazy, man.

Author's Notes: I'm sure you all know who Uruki is, but not WHO Uruki is. Uruki is the Genbu seishi, and his/her persona is often used in AU Genbu fics. The Uruki I'm using in this fic, however, is the Uruki in the new Genbu manga that is currently being written. There are only two chapters of it published as of now, so this fic will likely not stand the test of time, since my characterization and predictions are probably all wrong. And this isn't the best writing ever either, since it's rather impromptu. But hey. It's summer. I'm allowed to be a lazy bitch. This is the first of many reckless "w00t I'm out of high school, eat THAT anal retentive English teachers" pieces. So please forgive all of my sloppy errors. If I'm lucky you won't think I'm some sort of crazed 13 year old fangirl (and I'm not!).

If you're not familiar with the new FY manga go to 195.230.175.217/~japan/Genbu/Index_e.htm. Add the http part to the start since FF.net won't allow it to be visible otherwise. There's only two chapters so, as I said, this fic will likely not stand the test of time. Ohh well.

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Sucks to be Me

Who would have known that such a small girl could snore so damn _loud_. I'm surprised every time I hear her. When I slept with her I held her for warmth and all of a sudden there would be a snort in my ear. Naturally, I jolted awake and listened to her noises. She's like a giant, tone deaf cricket... only not. Nobody else seemed to be bothered by her, though. They're all asleep. Then again, they didn't have her face next to their ears. Sawing.

Tomite muttered something to himself and snuggled into his bedroll. Then he snuggled against a rock and muttered some more. Little moans. I'll probably wake him up for the next watch. It's not his turn, but who the hell cares? He's an annoying, hyperactive little gnat, and it'll show him for having a wet dream on _my_ watch. He must be mocking me. Deep down he must know and is mocking me. I never did like him.

Honestly. I'd like to see him try masturbating if every time he gets close he suddenly has nothing else to hold. Nothing. Nothing at all. At a certain point my seishi powers kick in, and, damn it all, I hate being a seishi. Fuck you, Genbu. Fuck you for making me some sort of she-he. A he-she. Whatever. I need to go desecrate a few temples. Maybe some good old iconoclastic behavior will show you damned gods to be clear on genders.

Yes, I need a good fuck. Thank you for fucking asking, Genbu.

...You could get a little action from some men, you say. It's not like they don't want you.

Again, fuck you. There's a reason why I've killed so many men. Hatsui grabbed my ass when we met. He fucking grabbed my ass. If I had killed him it would have been your fault, Genbu... that would be what you'd get for making me have to grow boobs in order to use my powers. Sure, there's a price on my head for killing so many men. But maybe there's a reason? Oh yes. The fact that they're chauvinistic pigs.

Imagine that. A teenaged male bitching about chauvinism.

You're the one who made me messed up, Genbu. I'm sure all of you gods get good laughs out of this. You take turns making up seishi with gender issues! I'm sure it is just HILARIOUS watching me get hit on by drunken bandits. Hell, I get hit on by sober bandits, I look so convincingly female. I mean, I have boobs, damn it. What're you gonna do next? Dress me in drag? 

...What? Did I give you and your little godly friends an idea? I can hear you all snickering up there.

Damn it. I'm sure Taitsukun's in on it too. She tells us, "Genbu no Miko must be a virgin," and the whole time she stares at me. Incessantly.

What danger does she think I pose to Takiko and her damn womanhood? It's awfully fucking hard to "deflower" someone if every time you get hard enough to do so you _lose your fucking cock_.

You all can read my mind, can't you? You know how I feel about her. But there's no way I could touch her. I don't think she would even let me. I pretend to hate her. The warmer she makes me feel the colder I treat her. She hates me too, I'm sure. And you're the only ones who know, aren't you? If only the fucking gods know I'm okay. I just need to worry about the rest of the damn world.

Hmph. I should probably wake up Tomite, shouldn't I? As much as I'd love to kick him in the head to wake him, I'm not in the mood to fight him now, and a fight would probably wake everybody up anyway. But it would get rid of a lot of tension. 

...I'll just shake him on the shoulder like any reasonable human being would and tell him he's up.

I don't know that I'd be able to sleep anyway. Takiko's always so damned noisy during the night. If she's not snoring she's crying and hoping nobody notices. Soft, little tears. She wakes up with red eyes.

And there's nothing I can do about it.

Thank you oh so very fucking much, Genbu.

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Return of the Author's Notes: I did the whole Takiko/Uruki thing because, following shoujo tradition, the first male the heroine meets in the new world is ultimately going to be the love of her life. And afterlife, as the case may be. Heh. Ranma never knew he had it so good.


End file.
